Wednesday, 2 January 2013

PMS--Pity Me Syndrome

It seems like you're at the end of the road... your world is about to snap and thoughts rule your senses. The perspectives begin to crumble one by one. You're at the end of your tether. Life becomes monotonous; there is a sense of purposelessness. and yet, you have no idea when you become to be just a walking, unfeeling individual. You begin to view life as nothing more than just breathing in and out. somehow, you feel trapped. You want to cry but can't. Tears just won't come. But deep inside, you are falling apart. Outside, you are the quintessential example of strength. Inside, there's nothing but a hollow void nothing can fill. You go through the daily motions out of habit but without a touch of sense or purpose.And the meaning of life has become a dried up wishing well.

How often do we succumb to this situation. This deep feeling of being embittered; resentful and defeated. The human mind is so complex, it can conjure deep thoughts that somehow just overpower your own sense of self belief. It's not a pretty feeling. It eats at your soul. It's as if the whole world is crashing in on you and you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Your woes, your troubles. You.You.You.

Such a narcissistic point of view, ain't it. Oftentimes, when we're experiencing turbulence in our life, only us matters. Nothing else. You become too engrossed in your woes,  the world takes a backseat. It's PMS written all over it. PITY ME SYNDROME.

But once in a while, sanity slaps you right back into reality. You come to a place where you realize your woes are a tiny fraction than what other people have. Insignificant even. You meet people who remind you that life is not about our own existence, but existing peacefully and meaningfully with others. 

I just went to the wake and funeral of my boss' mother, Nanay Lucila, who died at the age of 90. What struck me the most was that at the wake, I was expecting a solemn, sober affair. However, it was to my amazement that all 13 of her children, her grandchildren and family friends were not at all sad. Instead the wake was full of laughter and happy conversations. I asked one of her sons on the reason. He said his mom has asked them not to grieve so much but to celebrate her life. All she ever wanted was for all her sons to be there. And true indeed, I heard anecdotes on how kind she was; how well she treat people even those who have hurt her. I am deeply overwhelmed by the number of people who were there and it made me think that this woman must have been one hell of a lady when she was alive to merit all these people on her wake.  And during her funeral, there were at least close to 300 people to pay respects. 

Because you see, when we are under an enormous emotional upheaval, we are too focused on ourselves -- for a brief period, sometimes longer than necessary. When we make someone the center of our existence, we forget all other areas and people in our lives. They become peripheral entities to us; those tiny specks that dwell beyond our spheres of consciousness or concern. And when the equilibrium of this *bubble* is threatened, when the perfect world you created crumbles, you are shaken to the core. And all of a sudden, everything come rushing in. And you begin to see just how selfish you have become; neglecting the people that you should have given attention to.

It is up to us how we want to be remembered. At that standstill where everything comes to a close, we reminisce on how well we lived our life.

Everything comes to an end. Like a story. 

The ending depends on how well you have written your life. People often cry for lost times. And those that cry the most are those who have given less of their love when they had the chance.

 So, how do you want to be remembered when you pass away?


  1. its strange but true fact that each one of us somewhere surely must be going through this PMS...and me being one of the victims in emotional sense is amazed to come across this article by you. Its time I start celebrating and valuing my own life, rather than Pitying it! Good one! Thanks!!! Kudos...Keep Writing!!

    1. @kriti: we all go through PMS. the question is whether we snap out of it or be like an ostrich who buries her head on the ground because sometimes it becomes a habit; one that is so hard to shake. I am glad this article has helped you in a little way kriti. all the best to you, my friend.

  2. Sheila, do you know the feeling when at the end of reading an article you wonder how simple you had thought the outcome would be, but the read has given you a profound sense of... wisdom, maybe?

    Thank you for sharing the story of Nanay Lucila. I need to recommend this piece to people. Keep writing! :)

    1. @Vaishali jain: It is I who should be thanking you for your words. A story however simple it may seem sometimes is as complex. It keeps on unraveling.

  3. Well written piece here, Sheila.
    I enjoyed it.

    Have a great day!