What If meets If Only

 

Today, I had a conversation with my sister about decisions we make.  She's been rattling on and off about this one decision she made two years ago which at this moment, she knows was the biggest mistake she ever had. At that time, she thought, heart ruling over reasons, that it was the right thing to do. It's make or break moment. She even had to experience our father's wrath because of it. But headstrong as she is, she did went on with it. 

And now, comes the Regrets.

But one cannot turn back the hands of time. After all is said and done, we can only live with the What If's and the If Only's. 

How life blatantly serves us with consequences way beyond what our little minds can foresee. One minute we feel this is a life altering moment, and then the next minute berate ourselves on why we have done so.  Sometimes, life offers such ironies that we can only shake our heads in disbelief. 

 

You end up with all sorts of questions.  And no answer seems to be appropriate or sufficient to explain and silence the ever-questioning mind. Reasons over matters of the heart.  which one should rule.  

But on the second thought, isn't it that in life, we should make choices? Isn't that the be all and end all? For if not for these choices, there won't be any chance for us to grow, to learn, to understand, to fall, and to stand back again.

They say, life is too short. If it is so, then why do we take too long to take chances. Why do we hesitate to plunge head first on the ocean of life. Why are we so afraid to take a leap of faith. 

And yet, there is this nagging feeling inside.  The fear to fail. To realize we have made a mistake. And to live with this mistake the rest of our lives.

 

But in the end, which one takes the greater weight?